And God populated the earth with broccoli and
cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man
and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's
brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You
want fries with that?" And Man said, "Supersize them."
And Man gained 5 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman
might keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman
gained 5 pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh
And Satan brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And
Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "I have sent thee heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken fried steak so
big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad
cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved
to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote
control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and
ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat
and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep fat fried them. And he created sour
cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips
swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went
into cardiac arrest.